Dream United Team: Utd Skinheads v Utd Moptops


In goal, we’ve Alex Stepney, a man who thrived in both the 60s and the 70s. In the process, he tried almost every haircut in the brochure, and there were few finer manes than Stepney’s silvery-brown effort of the early 70s. An intimidating sight for any forward bearing down on goal, he also took penalties, which only adds to his value in six-a-side.


In defence, there’s Martin Buchan, potentially the most overlooked Manchester United superstar of the post-war era. An authoritative centre-half that possessed smoothness and steel in equal measure, his reading of the game was sublime, and he was arguably United’s most important player in the 1970s. Hair-wise, he wore his glorious brown mop as lightly and elegantly as he did his football prowess. Once asked for a quick word by a journalist, he responded:


A man that sharp is never going to let you down with either his barnet or his technical ability.


In midfield, we’ve two bona fide United icons: Bryan Robson and Ryan Giggs. And their hair follicles both followed a similar career trajectory. Robbo began with a perm and a mullet in the early 80s, while Giggsy adopted a floppy, curly style that had everyone swooning in the early 90s. As they progressed, they regrettably became a bit more conservative. Thankfully, both were absolutely sensational at football, so no one was too disappointed. As for six-a-side, this duo can do it all in the middle of the park: defend, dribble, score, tackle, you name it. Nobody was harder than Robson; nobody was more elusive than Giggs.


Up front we’ve another mix of brute force and sublime skill. George Best took on the world in the 1960s, and was known as ‘El Beatle’ for his brilliant moptop. That progressed to a flowing, leonine mane as the decade wore on – few could outdo the Belfast boy either on the pitch or off it. A Ballon d’Or winner in 1968, the opposition will have their hands overflowing while trying to stop Best and Giggs.


His partner is Mark Hughes – one of the toughest strikers to ever represent the club. With thighs the size of Coloradan boulders, and a shot that could split monuments, Hughes was as shy off the pitch as he was loud on it. And that extended to his hair, which confidently embraced perms and mullets and an endless number of shaggy variations.


This team and their flowing locks fear no one and, what’s more, they’ve got the confidence to show it.


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