Mark Wilson UTD Unscripted: A sense of wonder

I remember loving every minute, even though I was taken off after an hour. I remember performing well and getting some good press off the back of it. One of the quotes was: “He’s not a Roy Keane, he’s more cultured.” I’ve got that printed out and highlighted in yellow marker so I can put it in front of Keaney one day. Perhaps not. But I got some good press and that really propelled me forward in terms of how I was perceived. It didn’t propel me forward into a run of games as I’d hoped just because you’re at United, trying to remove Scholes, Keane and Butt. In that situation, you can learn so much from them but trying to get in the team is a nightmare. I felt like those guys were fit ALL THE TIME.

I’ll be honest. At that time I think I was playing in the Reserves and training with the first team at a level I never really got back to. Being at United, you feel a certain way, you’re filled with self-belief. It can hinder you sometimes because you expect too much as a player. I wasn’t as realistic as I needed to be at times. Being candid, my mindset was: why am I not playing? I think I’m better than this player, I think I should be in at this particular moment.

You need consistent games to make your mark. I’ve also seen players go through dips and poor spells while they’ve been playing, but continued to play because there’s a natural process of having a dip and then kicking on, having played through that patch. That chance just didn’t arise for me. Watford away in the league towards the end of 1999/2000, I was taken off at half-time, so I came off thinking: Wow, I must have been terrible today. I’ve watched it back and there was another player who gave the ball away about 20 times in the first half! Even taking away the subjectivity, I’ve looked at runs I’m making into the box, things I’m doing on the ball, challenges I’m making, but we find ourselves 1-0 down at half-time and I was the first to go. For a long, long time I thought I’d had an average game against Watford. Andy Gray in commentary referenced me: “Wilson’s the only one getting in the box at the minute,” I was maybe a yard in front or behind or maybe my timing was off, but either way it’s a positive. Today, as a young kid showing that energy and effort and understanding, you’re given time. Instead, it was: Willo off, Yorkie, on you go.

Yorkie scored and we won the game, so the gaffer was justified. He could see it as the right choice. Yorkie on, Willo off and we won the game. In terms of player development it was a tough school back then.

Same season, Sturm Graz at home. I felt like I was doing well in the game, getting on the ball, trying to play a couple of passes but I gave the ball away two or three times. I was trying to do the right thing, I felt, but then Keaney had a pop at me, I had a pop back and then in the dressing room at half-time, the Gaffer says: “Willo, give it away one more time and you’re coming off.” I had my petulant head on, just p***** off that again there were other players not performing, I was trying to do the right things and make things happen but I’m getting dug out for two passes. Within five minutes of kick-off at the start of the second half, I got the ball and tried to fizz one over the top to Giggsy. The full-back nicked it out of play and I’m thinking: ‘That was half a yard off being right on his foot and he was away.’ Giggsy even clapped the pass.

I look over and the subs go out.

That was me. Five minutes later, off I come. Tough school, like I say, but standards were standards. I certainly think there was a skewed perception at times. Maybe because players had played a certain amount of games they were afforded the bad passes. At the time I didn’t take it as well as I could. The gaffer explained to me the next day that he’d needed to teach me a lesson, which I now completely understand. I love the gaffer to bits – he’s been such a major influence on my career and life, characteristics I’ve developed and experiences I’ve had – but I was young and itching for more chances. I signed a new contract in 2001 but that summer, after Veron arrived at United and when Middlesbrough came in and offered me more money, I ended up leaving for the wrong reasons.